beggars-opera:

panicedgannet:

beggars-opera:

I spent so much of my life romanticizing the Great and Powerful Enormity of the Sea, reading about the salt and the sweat of the sailors straining to haul the sails or anchor while dreading the monsters in the cold, icy deep fathoms below…and now you tell me that a fathom is only 6 feet deep -

Six feet is still more than enough for a grave.

Hi, that is the most metal addition you could have possibly made to this post

sweatermuppet:

cowboys be like “nah that feller is just a companion to keep the trail a bit less lonely & a lot less dangerous” & then ride funny in the saddle the next 2 days

skimble-shanks-the-railway-cat:

Some of the best creative advice I ever got was “if you don’t have a good idea, a bad idea will do”

beriliaa:

horse-is-a-horse-of-course:

call me OSHA the way i’m demanding a railing

moghedien:

moghedien:

so my five year old nephew forgot the word “non-binary” and said that he thought a character in Breath of the Wild was “one of those…secret people”

My nephew when someone is non-binary:

cryoverkiltmilk:

cryoverkiltmilk:

“Do you enjoy doing math?”

“I do not.”

“How about live improv?”

“Not at all.”

“Okay… but what if there are dragons?”

“…keep talking.”

Dungeons & Dragons & Derivatives

earlgrey-slutty:

ssdenbrough:

doyouknowwhatimeme:

langernameohnebedeutung:

this is so funny. ducklings from wish.

weaselle:

aroaloe:

aroaloe:

Balance the 4 humors!!

Blood

Yellow Bile

Phlegm

Black Bile

We did it!! Your patient is healthy!!!!

i love that tumblr uses polls for stuff like this

splicky:

metapianycist:

cipheramnesia:

mother-entropy:

evilbuildingsblog:

Football stadiums look like giant eyes when viewed from above

i don’t like knowing this.

Evil eye collecting and focusing powerful forces of enormous hatred.

this is why aliens won’t visit

Earth has evolved false eyes to ward off planetary predators

king-oro-of-lightlark:

blapis-blazuli:

crocodile-dandy:

I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin’ quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was “this big,” and I said “that’s disgusting,” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you’ve got a small dick, It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! That’s right, baby, tall points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the Earth! That’s right, this is what you get: my SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I’m not gonna piss on the Earth, I’m gonna go higher!! I’m pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

Happy one year anniversary to the video that gave us this improvised gem.

Happy 5th Anniversary, all you bitch ass motherfuckers

thatsgonnaleaveamark:

hey btw if youre transphobic, a terf or anti-choice you are not welcome on this blog

fullmetalfisting:

“Korn” “limp biscuit” “smashing pumpkins” … is this a metal festival or are we about to sit down for thanksgiving dinner